


Blame It On the Rain

by uhpockuhlipz



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Kara and Alex are the best sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:58:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9577130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhpockuhlipz/pseuds/uhpockuhlipz
Summary: When Lena tells her that she knows her secret, Kara sort of kind of accidentally freaks out.





	

“Kara, I know.”

The words send a jolt through her and Kara just stares, uncomprehending, blue eyes blinking behind the thick lenses of her lead-lined glasses. Lena is smiling slightly like this is all some grand joke and Kara's heart is racing, racing, racing in her chest.

(She wonders if it has super strength as well, if it might just batter its way through her ribs to fall at Lena Luthor’s feet.)

“Know… know what?” she asks uncertainly, hoping, praying that it isn't what she thinks. That Lena means something innocuous like “ _I know it was your birthday a few weeks ago and you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to think you were angling for a gift_ ” instead of “ _I know who you are when you take those glasses off._ ”

Because Alex is already mad at her for accidentally upsetting Maggie at game night last night (she hadn't _meant_ to bring up bad memories of her dad, how was she supposed to know he was a jerk?) and J’onn is mad because she keeps nagging him about letting M’gann out of holding and she's pretty sure saying something like “ _Hey, Lena Luthor - you know, the sister of Lex Luthor and daughter of Cadmus leader Lillian Luthor - knows my secret identity, I hope that's cool?_ ” really isn't going to make things better.

Not that she doesn't trust Lena with it because she totally does. She's wanted to tell her for ages. Not telling her had been a matter of respect for the people in her life who wanted to keep her safe. And maybe that's not fair to Lena because Lena is so sweet and so good and Kara _knows_ she'd never hurt her, but not everything can be fair to everyone, not when it comes to making them all happy. So Kara had figured that as long as Lena didn't know she was keeping a secret from her then this was the best solution for everyone.

But apparently Kara is not very good at being sneaky, which is… not surprising. She hates lying and secrets go hand in hand with it so she's never been good with them. They make her feel slimy.

Still, this one is important and as Lena laughs a bit at her panicked expression, Kara feels a flare of irritation. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she says, as steadily as she can given the circumstances.

That's not the right answer though because it makes Lena stand, circling around her desk until she's right in front of Kara, her heels and Kara’s flats making it so she's just a bit taller. “Kara,” she says softly, that half smile still in place. “Did you really think hiding behind a pair of glasses would fool me forever?” Despite the curl of her lips, Lena's eyes are sharp and green and serious as they flicker between Kara's. “I would know your eyes anywhere. Even from above that crest you wear.” She reaches out towards Kara’s glasses, hand moving slowly as if to give Kara the chance to back up.

She does.

She can't think of what else to do here but take two quick steps back, stumbling over her messenger bag where it sits on the floor. The panic is flooding into her chest because damn it, this is not how she'd wanted Lena to find out. She isn't even sure if she wanted her to at all. “I'm not her, Lena,” she says, and there's just a bit more bite to the words than she meant there to be. The regret flares to life instantly when Lena's smile fades away, her hands dropping slowly to her sides.

A silence falls between them, heavy and uncomfortable. Kara bites her lip. “Lena,” she tries, taking a step forward.

This time it's Lena who retreats, moving back around her desk until it is between them. “My mistake,” she says, her voice politely distant now in a way it never is with Kara. “I apologize for making you uncomfortable, Miss Danvers.” She sinks down into her chair and urges her laptop closer, studiously avoiding Kara’s eyes. “I'm afraid I need to get back to work.”

Kara hesitates, her fingers twisting together as she frowns in Lena's direction. She wants to say something, wants to apologize, but she can't. It's better this way, right? It's better to deny it and to let Lena go. It's better to give her space so that she can come to terms with… well, either with being wrong or with Kara lying straight to her face.

She gets the feeling that it's the latter Lena is feeling because she doesn't look up when Kara backs towards the door, despite the fact she isn't actually doing anything but staring at her computer screen. She doesn't look up when Kara quietly opens the door, though she can see the way the muscles coil in her arms, a sure sign that Lena's hands had curled into fists where they rest in her lap.

She leaves without a word and the door latching behind her sounds very final.

//

She spends the weekend alone in her apartment with her two best friends, Ben and Jerry.

She isn't sulking exactly. That word feels so inconsequential and what Kara is feeling isn't. On the contrary, it makes her feel heavy and tired and she doesn't move for practically anything the entire weekend. Her phone vibrates a few times, but none of the messages are from Lena and Kara doesn't think she can face anyone else without breaking. So she sends short texts back, scraped together reasons for her absence that her friends seem to buy just fine, and goes back to Netflix.

Of course, Alex Danvers has never been the type to leave her alone for long. Kara is actually a bit surprised she makes it until Sunday before pushing through her apartment door loaded down with two shopping bags and a very large pizza. “Sister night,” she declares in a tone that leaves no room for argument.

Kara tries anyway. “Alex, I'm not really in the mood for company,” she mumbles, turning her head to press her face into the couch cushion. “Maybe try again after work tomorrow?”

She can hear Alex in her kitchen, putting away whatever groceries she'd picked up. She doesn't answer and for a moment Kara thinks that maybe she'll actually listen and leave again, but nope. Of course not. That would be too easy. Kara smells the pizza first and then Alex is sitting on her legs and swinging the box open, humming in delight as the scent grows tenfold. “Mmm, bacon and pepperoni,” she says and Kara tenses, turning her head so that she can narrow her eyes in Alex's direction.

“That's not fair,” she whines, wriggling until she can squirm out from beneath her sister’s weight. “You know my weaknesses.” She grabs a slice, but even her usual enthusiasm for food is dampened by her mood and she ends up taking a small bite that she chews for far too long.

“Kara, what's wrong?” Alex asks, her hand stroking over her hair.

If she'd been impatient with her question, if she'd asked Kara why she's pouting in that tone that sisters sometimes use, Kara might've been able to brush it off and change the subject. But Alex doesn't look annoyed like she had when they were younger. She doesn't look put-upon. No, Alex is watching her with genuine concern and her hand is still stroking over Kara’s hair in an attempt to comfort and it's _Alex_ , it's the person she trusts more than anyone in the world. And oh man, Kara must look like crap if she’s this worried.

“I think Lena is angry with me.” The same desperate sadness from before churns back to life as she says the words and she sets her barely touched pizza slice back in the box. She carefully avoids Alex’s gaze in case the judgment or disapproval she wears sometimes in relation to Lena makes an appearance. Kara doesn't need a reminder of those things. She doesn't want them. She just wants to tell Alex why she's upset so that she can tell _someone_ , so that all these feelings swirling inside of her that feel so important can finally be known. Acknowledged. Not just by someone else, but by herself. “I don't… I don't want her to hate me, Alex.”

Alex is silent for a moment and Kara wonders what she's thinking, what she's feeling. When she finally chances a glance, though, she can't tell.

(Alex has always been a better liar.)

“Why is she angry?” she asks at last, and her voice is still soft with her worry, though her brow is creased with whatever thoughts she has in her head. Kara raises a hand to her own forehead where an identical crease mars her brow. They aren't blood related, but they're definitely sisters.

“She guessed that I'm…” Kara trails off, looking desperately to Alex now to make sure she's listening, that she understands, pleading with her eyes for her not to interrupt. Alex's eyes narrow slightly, but she stays silent and Kara sighs a bit in relief. “She wasn't accusing or anything. Not threatening. She actually kind of looked like it was funny to her.” She'd been soft and gentle and she’d looked at Kara like she put the stars in the sky when she reached out to her.

She'd looked like she was asking for trust when she'd reached out and Kara had so cruelly turned her away.

Her stomach pitches and she curls into Alex's side, grateful when her sister’s fingers continue to scratch soothingly at her scalp.

“I kind of panicked and told her I wasn't and I… I wasn't very nice about it. She looked at me like I slapped her.”

Again Alex is quiet, even as Kara pauses to give her time for a response. It stretches between them for several long minutes and Kara is aware of every other sound filling the silence, from the tick of Alex's watch to the sound of her blood running through her veins.

“Why did you deny it?” Alex asks at last. “Pretty much all of your friends know. Even when Maggie guessed, all you said was ‘good, one less person to lie to.’ Why is it different with Lena?”

“Because all of you are different with Lena,” Kara says impatiently. It seems like a silly question with an obvious answer. “None of you trust her and I knew you wouldn't be happy if I confirmed it.”

“But you trust her.”

“Well... yeah.”

“Would you trust her with your life, Kara?” she asks softly.

Kara sits up and meets her sister’s gaze head on, chin tilting up, eyes blazing. “She's saved it already, even if she didn't know it. She's saved countless others. Why _shouldn't_ I trust her?”

Alex lifts her eyebrows, amusement creeping into her expression. She says nothing and Kara narrows her eyes as the point she's making slowly sinks in. “Alex, come on. You know you would've killed me if I came back and told you that Lena knows.”

“Probably,” she agrees with a shrug. “But at the end of the day, it's your call. Besides.” Alex takes a deep breath, releases it slowly. Like what she wants to say is maybe a little against her better judgement, her sister half warring with her agent half. “You're a pretty good judge of character most of the time. So if you trust her then… the rest of us can figure out how to trust her too. I mean, I've still got my eye on her, but…” She shrugs. “It's your secret.”

She pats Kara’s hand and then reaches across her to snag the remote, turning the volume up to human levels. “Now let's eat this pizza. I replenished your ice cream supply so there's that to look forward to when it's gone.”

Kara stares at her for a long moment, shocked by her sister’s words and easy switch from serious to casual. “What flavors did you get?” she asks, trying to keep her voice from shaking with everything she's feeling.

Alex grins at her and waggles her slice of pizza. “Half baked and phish food.”

Kara tosses her arms around her and hugs her as tight as she can without breaking anything. “You're the best sister ever,” she mumbles against her shoulder, and they both know she doesn't mean just for the ice cream.

“I know,” Alex says, swatting Kara's thigh. “Now eat up.”

Kara snags the remote back before Alex can find some gory horror film and hits play on the show they'd previously been binging together.

“Okay.”

//

It takes her a week to work up the nerve to see Lena again. A week in which she tosses herself into her work, both as a CatCo reporter and as Supergirl. It's a good distraction throughout the day, but at night, things are harder.

She is alone and it is quiet and that makes it harder to turn off her thoughts.

“ _For the record, she sounds more hurt than pissed_ ,” Alex had offered during their sisters’ night when the conversation had wound back around in that direction. “ _And I think that's definitely something you can fix a lot easier. If you want to fix it_.”

But can she? Is it really easier to fix a hurt heart than an angry ego? Kara is not so sure, so she takes another day to think about it. Then another, then another, and it's suddenly the weekend again and she still doesn't have an answer.

The city is quiet. People don't seem to like committing crimes in the rain and it makes Kara restless. Which is funny actually because normally rain has a pretty calming effect on her - she thinks it has something to do with the sun being trapped behind the clouds instead of constantly fueling her - but that's not the case tonight.

She's restless to the point that she ends up changing into her Supergirl suit anyway, rushing through her own window in a blur of blue and red, desperate to escape her own company. It's late and the few people who are out are bundled up beneath umbrellas that catch slightly in the wind. None of them look up, none of them see her. None of them need her, not tonight.

Kara circles the city mindlessly, pushing her speed a bit, the rain pelting against her so hard that she can almost imagine the sting of each drop on her impenetrable skin. Without even consciously thinking about it, she finds herself in the wealthiest part of the city where the high rises stretch out to meet her in the air. And there, through steel and glass and drywall, Kara finds herself floating outside Lena’s apartment.

The lights are on, one of the only apartments still glowing with them.

Kara stares for a long minute, hates herself when she gives in and uses her x-ray vision to scan for Lena. She's in the living room and she's alone, curled on her couch with a book in her hands. Kara blinks away the vision and continues to hover, uncertain. She doesn't realize she's moving closer until she's touching down on Lena's balcony and reaching out to knock on the sliding glass door.

Lena jolts and looks up, staring at her balcony door in confusion. The confusion gives way to surprise, then flickers of several other emotions Kara can't name before they're all carefully hidden and Lena is marking her place in her book. She stands and crosses to the door, opening it with hands Kara can see are trembling slightly.

“Supergirl,” she says slowly. “You're all wet.”

It's obviously true. After all, it's absolutely pouring and Kara has been flying around for over an hour. She must be a picture, standing there in her suit with wet skin and dripping hair hanging in thick ropes around her shoulders. But she doesn't care. She doesn't care because she's here and Lena is here and oh, if Kara is a picture then Lena is a _vision_. She's barefoot and her hair is loose and tousled (like she'd been combing her hand through it the way Kara has wanted to for far too long). There is no makeup on her face and it somehow makes her look younger, more vulnerable. She's small without her heels and with Kara in her boots. Several inches smaller in fact.

“You were right,” Kara breathes. Lena stares at her. “You were right about me, Lena. I am Kara. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. About- about what happened. I shouldn't have reacted that way and it's totally in me and I get it if you don't ever want to speak to me again, but I just wanted to tel you that you're not… it's not because I didn't trust you. It's just so complicated and I didn't know how to-”

“Kara.” Her name is hardly more than a whisper, but it shuts her up effectively, jaw snapping shut as Lena looks quietly back at her. And it feels strange, hearing it from Lena when she's standing there in her suit, but it isn't bad. It's… it's actually kind of nice. Relieving. Kara feels some of the tension melt away and she gives Lena a hesitant smile. She is further relieved when it's returned.

Then suddenly Lena is stepping out onto the balcony with her, out into the rain, her arms wrapping around Kara's shoulders to hug her close. Kara's freezes in a moment of surprise and then wraps around her waist and holds her in return. She presses her face into Lena's hair and inhales the scent of her shampoo, something floral and expensive that Kara associates with Lena.

“I'm sorry for pushing you,” Lena murmurs against the curve of her neck.

(Kara shivers at the feeling of her lips brushing there, soft and warm.)

“I just wanted… I wanted you to know I knew, that you didn't have to hide from me or… or be afraid that I would-”

“Oh, Lena, no.” Kara draws back and frames her face between her palms so that their eyes meet. Lena is equally soaked through now, the rain running in rivulets over pale skin. Kara gives in and combs a hand through all of that thick, dark hair, silky and wet between her fingers. “I wasn't afraid of you knowing. I trust you. I _trust_ you. I was just… surprised.”

She hates that Alex is right, that she'd hurt Lena with this. It wasn't at all what she'd intended and it makes her feel awful now. Especially when she smells the salt of tears mixing with the coolness of the rain. She touches her forehead to Lena's and shakes her head slightly. “I trust you,” she whispers again.

Lena tilts her chin up and presses her lips to the corner of Kara’s and it's a shock to the system, but not an unpleasant one.

It's Kara who turns her head and meets her more fully, who gathers her closer and curls her fingers into her hair. “You're gonna catch a cold in this rain,” she mumbles against her mouth and she feels Lena's lips curve against her a moment before a laugh bubbles out of her.

“Then take me inside,” she murmurs.

“Oh. Oh, but I'm soaked. I don't want to-”

“Kara,” she says again, and Kara wonders if she just likes being able to say it when Supergirl is the one standing there. “It's just water. Please come in.” She steps back and catches her hands and Kara stares at her, wet and dripping, as she leads her inside. Those green eyes never leave hers and Kara is absolutely transfixed.

She lets herself be drawn inside, lured by kiss-swollen lips and a slumberous gaze.

//

The lights in the sixty-fifth floor apartment wink out a few minutes later.

All is dark and quiet in National City as Kara and Lena find peace. 

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, you can hit me up on tumblr @ proudlyunicorn (:


End file.
